The Power of Choice
llo ladies! It’s amazing how in the last couple weeks the leaves on the aspens’ have changed from gre
Hello ladies! It’s amazing how in the last couple weeks the leaves on the aspens’ have changed from green to yellow, and are now hitting the ground at a rapid pace. The low-level flora has changed to beautiful gold and orange. With as much love as we have for the changing leaves, it seems that for many, the approaching snow, cold days, and more hours spent inside causes many to go into the yearly thought patterns of “I’m not ready for winter!” “I am bummed summer is over”, and the most common one “summer is just not long enough”.
Being from Maine originally, I understand this thought process 100%. It’s the anticipation and the knowingness for those that have been here a while, that the days are short, the temperatures a tad frigid, and we will perhaps be buried with snow in a couple of months. Or next week. I guess we never know.
My name is Kristin King. I am a Mindset & Wellness Coach as well as the owner of CB South Fitness. My husband and I moved here 4 years ago, and we have 2 little boys, and a fluffy, lovable, 100 pound Alaskan Malamute.
The Power of Choice
What I want to talk about today is that we all have the Power of Choice. We can chime in to the comments of others, and the dread of impending winter, cold, snow gear, snow-blowing, layer upon layer of clothes…. or we can make a new decision about it. And how we decide to feel is all based on a choice that’s 100% within our control. And that choice can be to accept Winter in all its glory, remember and remind ourselves of all of the fun and amazing things that we will do when the snow falls, that we live in a “Winter Wonderland”, that we get to go skiing with minimal effort and a 5-20 minute car drive and a short walk to the chair lift, that we have the most amazing Nordic trails in the country, that we have a wonderful ski program for our children to learn to ski, that we still have ample options available for fun in the snow, skating, sledding, and leveraging this recreation mecca that we live in.
When the Choice Doesn’t Stick
Okay, I get it. You might be saying “ok, I can do that. I can get excited to ski again. YAY.” but you don’t really feel or believe it. It doesn’t even really make you feel any better but you’ll entertain the thought. Then, when you go to grab your coffee at Camp 4 tomorrow morning, hearing others talking about the changing season, and how they’re not ready for Winter, can quickly transition you back into, Winter = not ready = vent session. And now the other person in the conversation has pulled you back into resisting the impending changes, and the gloom and doom scenario, that you were minutes before feeling okay with.
There is a really important piece here…something that most are not aware of…we all do it, and it’s there every day, every week, every month and every year. And that piece of the pie is called resistance. When we’re not in control and not on board with something – literally anything that’s in front of us, that happens in our day, the way someone is acting, or what they’ve said, or the change of the season, whatever it might be – we immediately move ourselves into what I teach is a “suffering” state of mind. To be clear, suffering states are feelings of fear, anxiety, stress, overwhelm, boredom, anger, jealousy, and impatience, feeling that don’t feel good in the body, and in the mind.
When we wish something was different than it actually is, we are resisting what is showing up in that moment, and then we move into unpleasant feelings, stress, frustration, disappointment, etc. I refer to this emotion as our “default emotion”, and it’s really whatever emotion comes up naturally when resistance sets in. We all have our own way of coping when things are not what we want them to be, and this default emotion we have is how we react to those external things, that we have no control over, that are not as we want them to be.
This can apply to something big in your life like how a friend behaves, or that you wish your significant other would do more or that they should acknowledge you more…or it could be something as certain as the changing seasons – whether we like it or not.
How do we know it’s Resistance?
If it doesn’t feel good, and puts you into one or more feelings that fall under the category of a suffering state (mentioned above), then there’s resistance in accepting what is actually happening, that is causing that feeling to come up for you.
What do we do?
We acknowledge it. We notice that resistance is there, and that it’s ok. We don’t form a judgement or opinion, or wish it were different. We just acknowledge that something has happened, that we do not prefer, and we accept it and then choose to find a new powerful perspective on the experience – there may be a lesson to be learned, a pivot to be made, or something that keeps you moving forward powerfully. Some may call this finding the silver lining, or taking a glass-half-full perspective; shifting us from a suffering state to an empowered one.
Make a Choice - Change Your World
If you look at everything in your life from the perspective of, “I have the Power of Choice”, in how you respond to things outside of your control, then you will see that things will start to take shape much differently, and you will be more peaceful in the body and the mind.
Just think: with less frustration, disappointment, wishing it were different, dealing with overwhelm and anger throughout our day – how much energy we will conserve and have to focus on the important things in life, and how proactive, rather than reactive, we will be with our time and focus.
Thank you for reading, and for being a part of the Gunnison Valley Women’s Networking Group, and I hope to see you at the next get together in October! In the meantime, please contact me, Kristin King, at 303.956.5514 or firstname.lastname@example.org, if you have questions and are interested in learning more about working together or my coaching services.